Please don't hate me
by Lil Einjeru
Summary: 1 month after the Hime Festival. Natsuki's avoiding Shizuru.. What will happen to Shizuru? Will she got hurt? or be with Natsuki. my first fic. ShizxNat shoujou ai


**Please don't hate me.**

Its been a month since the Hime festival, Everything's normal again. The school's back to normal, students are back to studies, and I'm still being the president of student council. Everything is fine except me.. My hearts feeling uneasy. Uneasy with Natsuki's action. More like she's avoiding me.. after the Hime festival, and after the kiss she gave me. She have been avoiding me.

"Maybe I'm just dreaming" I said in a slow voice.. looking out to the window.. It has been raining for days now. The weather was cold but I can barely feel it. The pain in my heart had already took over me.

'Natsuki.. Why are you avoiding me?' I thought while walking out of the student council room. As I slide the door open, I saw a girl.. merely angry.

"Shizuru! Get over here! We've got big problem here!" Haruka shouted. "Haruka-chan.. Take it easy.." Yukino tried to calm Haruka down.

"What's the problem Haruka?" I said with a smile, hoping to get an answer. I walk back into the student council room and start making tea as Haruka and Yukino walk in as well.

"The Garden!.." Haruka tired to talk calmly as Yukino cut in " The flowers in the garden is withered because of continuous rainfall for the past few days." Haruka turn to look at Yukino who cut in. "Haruka-chan, you need to relax a bit.."

"Yukino-san is right. Here have some tea while we discuss about this situation." I said calmly. Knowing that this can't be helped, The weather is the one to be blamed.

After an hour of discussion Haruka and Yukino left the student council room. I stood near the window looking out at the raining day while drinking my tea. 'Natsuki..' I call out her name in my heart. After a while I left the student council room as well.

Suddenly I heard some voice coming out from Mai's classroom. I slide the door a bit to take a peak. "Oh god" I said in a whisper. Seeing Mai and Tate kissing.. His hand went up Mai's left breast. Turning away I walk as fast as I can. My face turn red.

"Shouldn't have open the door.. shouldn't have!" I said almost shouting, walking out from the school and into the rain. By the time I realize it, I was already soaked. Knowing that's its useless for me to take an umbrella. I walked under the rain.

"Shizuru? Your soaking wet." A voice rang towards me. It was familiar. I turn around, I knew that voice. Turning to see the person.. 'It is her. Natsuki' I thought. "Ara.. Its you.. Natsuki." I said while smiling.

"Are you ok? Its unlike you to walk under the rain." Natsuki said walking near me. Giving me some shelter under her umbrella. "Ookini, Natsuki (thank youKyoto dialect, Natsuki)." I said towards her.

We started walking to our apartment, but we didn't talk much. I was still thinking about Mai and Tate. Then I look at Natsuki, Her blue hair and her emerald eyes. My heart started to race.

I felt my mouth dried up. Now I'm feeling uneasy with Natsuki beside me. I hope her lips were mine. I really really hope to hug her towards me. I knew Natsuki's trying to avoid me. But I didn't know the reason.

"Natsuki.. I." I tried to talk to her but it seems the weather doesn't agree for me to bring up the topic. It started to rain even heavily. We had no choice but to run to one of the closed shop for shelter. It was already dark and cold. That place seems so haunted.

We were silence for quite some times until Natsuki broke the silence. " Shizuru.. you were trying to say something just now?" I turned and look at her. Giving her a smile and turn back to look at the wet ground.

I shock my head and said "mm-hm nothing.. Nothing special" "Oh.." Natsuki said.. "Then can I ask you something?" She continued. Turning to look at her I answer "go ahead"

"Just now you said about shouldn't have open the door just now.. What does that mean?" Oh god… I didn't expect her to hear that. I was speechless. "You heard?.." I said.

"Yes.. I was just behind of you when you walk out from the school." Natsuki answered.

"You really wanted to know?" I said blushing. She nodded her head. Now I'm angry about myself. I shut my eyes tight knowing I can't control myself any longer if I tell her about what I saw but I didn't wanted to.

I turn to her and hold her shoulders. Pulling her close towards me. "Shi.. Shizuru?" She called out my name in fear. I whispered at her ear. "Atashi mo anta wa suki dayo. Natsuki.(I love you, Natsuki)" Pushing her away from me, her face was chili red.

"Shizuru.. that's not the answer I…" She tried to change back the topic as I couldn't control myself and pressed my lips with hers. I hugged her close to me as I felt her trying to push me away. After awhile.. She react back.. kissing me. I was so happy. Then slowly I slid my hands into her shirt. That's when she started to push me again.

She tried to say something but I didn't want her to. So I slid my tongue inside her mouth. She moaned a bit. I knew she was shock with what I'm doing. Then, I continue to slid my hands in her shirt and touched her left breast. Now she moaned even louder.

Slowly I open my eyes and released her. Just after I released her she fell on her knees. I was speechless. Looking her on her knees, it felt like a thousand daggers pears though me.

I back off slowly.. I felt tears rolling down my cheek.. looking at Natsuki. It really hurts me.. "I … I'm.. I'm sorry Natsuki.. I.." I closed my eyes.. my tears dropped.. "I'm sorry Natsuki!" I said while turning and run away into the heavy rain.

'Why? Why did I kiss her? Why can't I control myself?' I scolded myself. I'm sure Natsuki will hate me now. I'm afraid to face her now.. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose her.. and I didn't want her to be others also.

The next day, I was very sleepy and feeling uncomfortable. I could barely sleep last night. Today I felt a bit weak, I didn't knew what was wrong with me. I didn't have the appetite to eat nor making tea to drink. Sitting at the student council room, I pretended as I'm fine, making tea and hearing Haruka's shouting and screaming.

In recess time, I stayed in the student council room.. resting my head on the table. I'm really tired.. and sleepy. Another reason I didn't wanted to go out because I didn't wanted to meet with Natsuki after what I did.. I know she'll hate me and avoid me more.

I stood up and walk to make some tea but my knee was too weak to allow me to walk. I fell to the floor hitting my left elbow hard. I shouted in pain while holding my elbow. I hoped no one heard me shout. Its really rare for me to shout. With the support of the table I manage to stood up and walk to make some tea.

"What?.. no more hot water?" I said to myself. This is just great, How I wish I don't have to walk out from the student council room. Now I have to.. in order to get some hot water. I slide open the door and walk out from the room. Hoping not to meet with Natsuki.

I reached the canteen and asked them to pour me some hot water. As I waited, I felt dizzy and heavy but I manage to keep myself steady.

"There you go.. Please be careful its really hot." The canteen worker advised me. I smile and nodded. I turned behind to walk back to the student council room. Then I saw Natsuki just in front of me.. face to face.. I felt fear growing all over my body.. my body went weak and I accidentally dropped the hot water on the floor and got burned.

Natsuki who avoided the hot water looked at me. I was holding my hand that got burned by the hot water.. It was really painful. Everyone was looking at me, then Natsuki hold my wounded hand and place some ice on it. I was shock, I didn't expect Natsuki will act that way.

I closed my eyes.. to avoid my tears from flowing. Then I pulled my hand from Natsuki and ran away. I heard Natsuki calling me but I didn't want to turn around. I knew Natsuki was chasing me but I didn't knew why is she doing that. 'No no.. this is just a dream. She can't be chasing me..' I said in my heart. Tears were already rolling down my cheek.

I was almost near the student council room, when I felt weak again. I support myself by the wall, making sure I didn't fall again. I heard foot steps and I knew Natsuki's just behind me. She was chasing me after all. She hold on to my left elbow to help me stand. It was the same elbow that I hit earlier when I fell in the room.

I shouted in pain. The pain creep into my body and pears my heart. It was painful that I can't stand it. Natsuki was shock. My left elbow's already swollen and I didn't notice it.

Suddenly I felt dizzy and everything when dark. But I heard Natsuki calling my name..

"Shizuru! Shizuru! Get hold of…" That's what I heard from Natsuki before I was unconscious.

Bright light pierced my eyes. So I open my eyes slowly.. But it was really painful.. tears were rolling out from my eyes.

"hmm.. Where am I" I said in a whisper enough for someone beside me to hear. I wasn't hoping anyone beside me and for sure not Natsuki. Then I realized, How, what and where am I.. I sat up quickly and felt myself dizzy so I place my hand on my forehead.

Then I heard a soft snoring just beside me. Turning to take a look, my heart stopped. Natsuki's sleeping in the edge of the bed.. 'She was with me all a long?.. Am I in her apartment?' I asked myself. Looking at her, I felt the daggers pears thru me again.

'Why am I feeling like this' I question myself. It is really uncomfortable, more like I just lost my sun that kept me warm. My hands where shivering and I'm crying.. I didn't know why. I placed my hand on Natsuki's head. "Natsuki.. I .." I couldn't finish the sentence..

I closed my eyes and whispered "Natsuki I really loved you.. How I wish I can hold you.. Kiss you like a couple.. and be with you.. But for now.. I only hope for your happiness nothing more then this.. You hated me.." Tears starting to roll down my cheek like waterfall.

"At least the only things I can give you now is to wish for your happiness with Masashi Takeda" I continued before I twist myself to the other direction and stood up. My tears where rolling non-stop my heart's aching and cold. I started to feel the coldness on my throat.

I turn to take a look at Natsuki.. then I took a paper and wrote 'thank you' and left her apartment. It was still raining, I've gotten stronger a bit. Not as weak as just now, looking at the time, school's already over but I still walk my way to the student council room.

Playing with my laptop in the student council room, I heard some foot steps. For sure its not Haruka's. If it is Haruka, you should be able to hear some shouting by now and Yukino's voice trying to calm Haruka down.

Looking at the sliding door, I expect someone to open it since the foot steps are getting near. Then it stopped, the foot step stopped. I started to think who is it and why didn't he or she open the door. Then a sudden fear ran thru me 'Is it Natsuki? It can't be.. or can it?'.. I stood up and went to the door.

Slowly I slide the door open, seeing there's a girl in a leader suit. The floors wet and the person's soaking wet. The leader suit seems so familiar. I look up slowly to take a look at the person's face. My eyes were wide open..

It really was Natsuki.. I was frozen in place. She looked like she just got pissed off.. "what.. wha.." I tried to say something but the words seems to get stuck in my throat.

I place my hand on my chest and looked down on the floor.

Then I felt a sudden push to back me off. I look back up and saw Natsuki pushing me so that she can get in and soon she shut the door. She looked deep into my eyes and it seems she wants some answers from me.

I couldn't help myself from the Eager to get myself out from this room. So I place a fake smile and said "Natsuki, I have to go now. I need to do something". After saying that I tried to walk away as Natsuki grab on my hand.

My vision suddenly became blur, and I felt something soft pressing on my lips. Then I realized that Natsuki's kissing me. I tried to push her away but my heart disagrees with me. Both my hands found its way to Natsuki's wet waist.. Her face is cold and her hair is wet making my face wet as well.

Slowly I closed my eyes and kissed Natsuki back. The kiss lasted for a couple of minutes before we broke the kiss for air. Immediately I look down on the floor to avoid eye contact with Natsuki and to avoid her from seeing me crying. She place her hand on my chin so that she could take a look of my face.

Then I turned the other direction as I'm crying.. I didn't want my dear Natsuki to see me crying.

"Shizuru.. I love you" Natsuki said in my ears. My eyes were wide open and I turned to look at her. I couldn't believe what I'm hearing. I shock my head.. and fell on my knees. I started to cry again, I covered my face as Natsuki hugged me tight and pull my head to rest on her shoulders. It felt joy as if I'm in heaven.

"Shh.. Don't cry now.. Please Shizuru.. I'm sorry.." She said. I closed my eyes hard and cried even harder.. After a few minutes, I slightly push Natsuki and she released me.

"Why are you saying sorry?" I said wiping my tears dry. "I'm sorry for avoiding you after The Hime festival. I didn't knew what I'm fear off." She answered me back. I giggled a bit and said "You just scared that your feeling towards Masashi Takeda will fade off.. I'm sorry Natsuki… I'm sorry about that night.. I" I couldn't finish my sentence as Natsuki pressed her lips with mine.

"Its ok.. What's past is a past and Masashi Takeda can't compare with you Shizuru. " Natsuki said hugging me and place my head on her shoulders again. I hugged Natsuki back and both of us clung each other for few seconds before Natsuki released me and I did the same also.

"Shizuru.." She called my name.

"Yes?" I asked.. My voice changed because of all those crying.

"I promise you that I'll always love you and you'll always be the one in my heart.. not Masashi Takeda. I will not let anyone hurt you again." Natsuki swore..

I smiled and giggled. "Ookini Natsuki.. But what if its you who hurt me?" I asked her back.

"Then you can do anything to me for the rest of the day." I was shock with her words. Shocked and happy in the same time. We kissed a couple of times before she said "Shizuru, your having high fever.. Its best if you go see the doctor now"

I got shock and realized why I fainted just now.. "Oh." I answered..

"You didn't know your sick?" She said in a high tone. She sounded as if she couldn't believe it.

"Well I can't really think what's wrong with me when I kept thinking about how much you will hate me" I said with a smile.. Then I looked at the floor

"Shizuru.. What's wrong? Feeling uncomfortable?" Natsuki asked..

"Natsuki.. Please.. don't hate me.." I said sobbing..

"What? How can I.. I'll never have you.. not in a billion years" She assure me.

"Promise?" I asked.. not getting my hopes up too fast. Then she answered. "Yes.. If we could stop talking and let me bring you to the doctor."

"Doc.. Doctor? Can't we just see Yohko sensei?" I asked.. I hate doctors.. They tend to give those weird medicines.

"No! no excuses." She said making sure she's bringing me to the doctor. "Don't tell me The president of student council is afraid of a little doctor when she can kill then easily" she continued.

"Nat.. Natsuki!" I was so embarrass

Natsuki giggled and whispered in my ears "Don't worry.. If the doctors dare to hurt you, They'll eat my gun."

I smiled and nodded. Natsuki gave me few kisses on my neck and then giving me a deep kiss before we headed to the clinic.

**End!**

I know I'm not really good in writing stories.. this is my first fic... I hope this story satisfied all of you. If there are any mistakes please tell me.. or maybe give me a better idea..err not idea but something like guidelines.XD I would like to say sorry about my english .


End file.
